literature

KJ: How one can change

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"Kallian, stop struggling!" Adaia scoffed quietly, a grin in her voice. Kallian wiggled beneath her mother's hold as the older elf attempted to put a dress on her young child.

"Mama!" the tiny elf squealed, "I don't wanna wear it!"

Her head finally poked through the top, her arms through the short sleeves. Her mother shook her head.

"You have to for now, sweetie. We don't need anyone in the Alienage berating us for not bringing you up properly." She kissed Kallian on the forehead, "Now go play with your cousins."

Kallian huffed a sigh, then ran out of the house. Shianni and Soris were waiting outside for her. Shianni lit up once Kallian made it over.

"Kali! Didja hear, another family moved into the Alienage!"

"Really?"

Soris nodded, "And I hear there's even someone 'bout our age there too!"

Kallian smiled broadly, "Then what are we waitin' for! Where'd they move to?"

"'Member old man Vific? Whelp, 'pparently," Shianni went into a hushed tone, "He went and got all mixed up with some shems! He went to fight the--" She stopped. The small elf frowned in concentration, "Derkspoon with wards."

"So now!" Soris took over, "There's a new family at his house!"

Kallian looked out over the Alienage, then at her cousins, "Let's go talk to 'em!"

The three ran through their part of Denerim. While Soris ran straight, his female cousins challenged each other to dodge as many legs as they could. Several adults yelled at them, and Kallian found herself falling over as she tripped a young woman. Before she could be scolded, she sprinted away behind Shianni.

Once at the doors of the new family's home, Shianni and Kallian ducked behind Soris. The male elf child knocked on the door, and all of them stood still. It creaked open, and a man's kind face poked out. He smiled warmly at them.

"Oh, hello."

"Hi!" They all squeaked together. After a moment of silence, the man spoke again.

"Is there something you three needed?"

The cousins all looked at one another, then Shianni stepped forward, "We heard rumors that we might get someone new to play with! We were hopin' to meet 'em!"

"Ah!" The man laughed, then looked over his shoulder. "Fyr! Come to the door, please!"

After a moment, a small head of dark red hair poked itself into view behind his father's leg. Kallian tilted her head to the side.

"Hi!"


The elf snapped awake. Someone was holding her hand, and had another one on her forehead. She tried to focus on the face.

"Wynne?"

The old healer nodded. She pulled her hands away from Kallian and smiled at her.

"Well, outside of a few restless dreams, you seem to have recovered."

"Thanks," she said quietly. She sat up slowly and took the shirt the mage offered her. Once it was on, the two left the tent. The camp hadn't moved in days, and Kallian began to feel antsy.

"We begin moving again tomorrow."

Before Wynne could reply, Kallian marched herself over to Zevran's side of the camp. Fyr remained tied up beside him, now with Alistair guarding.

"Ninety Nine... A hundred!"

Kallian turned around, then peered around the large open area. She walked along the houses and listened closely. There was a light scruffle sounded on one of the higher platforms. She grinned wickedly. The elf easily scaled the wooden planks beside it and peered over the top.

"You are so terrible at this, Fyr."

The male elf yelped in surprise and looked over at her. He frowned.

"And every time someone else is the seeker, you always stay hidden 'til dinner."

Kalian pulled herself far enough up to rest her arms on the platform. She offered him a quirky grin, "What can I say? My mother teaches me well. Anyway, come on. We got Soris and Shianni to find!"


The Warden shook her memories. Fyr refused to look at her, though Alistair stood up and looked relieved.

"You're well again."

Kallian managed a smile. "Yeah." It fell away, and she stared at Fyr. Still, he refused to face her. Anger boiled in her stomach, and she grabbed the collar of his robes. She slammed him into the nearby rock, pressing her face up near his.

"Why?"

The question was a quiet one. She was fairly certain Alistair hadn't even heard it. Fyr simply watched her, and she could see battle in the back of his eyes. A faint red glow was lit in his iris.

"Because," he said quietly. "Why should one not give in to the power that they want?"

"No." Fyr snorted.

"Why not?" Shianni whimpered. Soris and Kallian sat further back in the small hide away they had created. The cousins watched the two red heads bother one another over the small bottle of shem-drink.

"Careful, Shianni," Soris snickered. "You're making him mad."

"Shh!" Kallian hissed. "We get to see the ever rare angry Fyr!"

"Take a drink, Fyr, it won't kill you!"

"I... Said... No!"

Everyone in the room yelled in surprise as a brilliant light lit up in the corner. They stared at the fire for a long moment before Soris and Kallian grabbed their waterskins and put it out. The female elf looked back at Fyr. He looked horrified.

"W-Was that--" His face went pale. "Was that magic?"


Kallian spat in his face, "You aren't Fyr."

She grabbed her dagger and put it to his throat. It stopped there. Her arm was frozen and refused to finish the slice.

A sly smirk spread across Fyr's face, "Is something wrong, Warden?"

Her arm shook, and she pulled away, tears lining her eyes.

"Alistair..." She looked away from both of them. "This isn't Fyr, even if this demon still holds his form. I... can't do it. Please..."

There was a moment of silence before the knight asked hesitantly, "Are you sure?"

Kallian could only nod. She heard Alistair draw his sword, and a moment later the sound of it finishing the blood mage.

As it did, she fell to her knees, and the tears started to fall...

... and wouldn't stop. She sobbed into her pillow. She knew her father was trying to move on, trying to keep from making her feel worse. But he hadn't stopped working. Shianni and Soris hadn't been able to face her.

Kallian knew it was her fault. Her mother was dead because of her.

The door creaked open somewhere on the other side of her small house. Footsteps landed lightly on the wood floor. They came closer to her, and then stopped. She felt something on her shoulder, and the elf jerked away.

Fyr pulled his hand away, his expression seeming lost. Kallian hugged her pillow and looked away from him. He sat on her bed and pulled her into a hug.

"Kal," he said quietly. "No one's told you, yet, have they?"

Kallian growled, "Told me what?"

"It isn't your fault."

The words caught her off guard. She stared at the opposite wall for a long moment, then looked up at him. He didn't smile, or frown. He looked at her with a neutral expression, his eyes trying to make her understand.

"Your mother wouldn't blame you for what happened to her. Your father and cousins don't. You shouldn't either."

She pushed him away, "How can you say that!?" She stormed to the middle of the floor, fresh tears falling from her face, "If I hadn't been so stupid, she wouldn't have had to save me! If I hadn't picked a fight with that shem when they caught me, if I hadn--"

Fyr's hand covered her mouth to mute her words. He stared at her sternly.

"If I had gone with you, I could have healed her. If your father had been there, he could have helped her. If Shianni and Soris had been there, they could have made it look like an accident you were there in the first place." He sighed heavily before continuing, "I know you need time to grieve, Kal. You just lost her, but you need to know that
none of it was your fault."

Kallian shivered. After a moment, she collapsed against him and cried.


"Kal..."

The elf waved the human away as she fought back the tears. Alistair grabbed her hand out of the air and pulled her into a tight hug.

"It'll be alright... we're all here for you."

Kallian looked up at him. He tried to offer a warm smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. The elf leaned against him, then buried her face into his chest and cried.
I'm really happy with how this came out.

Hopefully this gives a bit more insight to the kind of person Fyr was before he was a blood mage. I had a lot of fun writing it! Hope you enjoy reading it.

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Comic-Ninja-Whoot's avatar
Aparently I missed this chaper I'm so glad I went back to read it. It was beautifully written. I alomost cried for Kal. When she couldnt kill Fyr and when she kept having flashbacks. It was so sad.